Questions

Finding out as an adult that you are donor conceived is often a very big shock…something that may have shaken your world and possibly your trust in others. You may feel in need of personal support, information or just want to be able to talk with others in a similar situation. We can help to signpost you to helpful resources or connect you with others in the same situation.

If you were conceived in the UK after August 1991, then information about your mother’s treatment, any donor used in that treatment and your existence will be recorded on the register held by the HFEA.  You are entitled to have non-identifying information about your donor and may find that identifying information is available if he or she has re-registered as ‘willing to be known’ to offspring from age 18.  You can also know how many half-siblings you have, their years of birth and their gender and register your interest in being in touch with any of these people by mutual consent, ie. if they too wish to be in touch with others.

You are also very welcome to join DC Network. See below or contact DCN for further details.

If your parents are members of DC Network and you are 13 or over then you are able to attend DC Network conferences and will be offered an opportunity to talk with other DC young people.  See below for details.

You may also like to read the stories of other donor conceived young people or buy or borrow books that contain accounts from donor conceived children and adults.

If you were conceived in the UK after August 1991 and are 16 years or over, you can contact the HFEA to find out if your mother’s treatment and your birth is recorded on their register.  It can be helpful but not essential to know where your mother had donor conception treatment. You can also find out non-identifying information about your donor, any half-siblings you may have, their years of birth and genders.

If you were conceived before August 1991, there is no official way of finding out whether or not you were conceived with the help of a donor, unless your parents or some other person party to the information, tells you.  The people at the Donor Conceived Register may be able to support you in thinking through your thoughts and feelings about this and any further action you may want to take.

See our page with Links to other organisations for possible sources of support.

Donor conceived adults are welcome as members of our organisation, although we are primarily there to support parents, prospective parents and families. We offer free membership to encourage more dc adults to join. We offer initial contact with one of our volunteer DC people. We also have a small WhatsApp group that you would be invited to join. We are always happy to offer telephone support and information at the office.

As a donor conceived adult who feels comfortable with their origins, either because you have been told early or because you have now adjusted to this knowledge, you can be very helpful in spreading the word about the importance of early telling and sharing your own story of growing up donor conceived.  The most popular speakers at our national meetings are donor conceived adults, who sometimes then go on to speak or appear in the media.  We always give considerable support and guidance to any donor conceived person who has agreed to speak on our behalf in any context.

Thinking about ‘telling’ your adult child about their origins by donor conception makes most parents feel very uncomfortable, whether or not they really want to do it or find themselves forced by circumstance into this position.

Our Telling and Talking booklet for parents of people over age 17 was written especially for you.  The author, Olivia Montuschi, the Network’s Practice Consultant, is able to offer a telephone consultation or have email correspondence with parents personally in this situation.  You can contact her via the Network’s email address.

See our page with Links to other organisations for possible sources of support.