Making Your Decision
Things you can do:
- Join DC Network. A very important part of our work is breaking the isolation felt by so many by putting people in touch with each other. (See Benefits of Membership)
- Come on a Preparation for DC Parenthood workshop. These are for people who have still to make up their minds if donor conception is right for them and those who have chosen to go ahead but want to learn more.
- Read the appropriate Letters in the Planning a Family series that are aimed at would-be parents of egg or sperm donor conceived children
- Read one or more of the books in our library that are recommended for your situation. If you are a UK member you can borrow them free of charge. Also read on-line, download or buy the Telling and Talking booklet for parents of children aged 0 – 7. The beginning sections are essential reading for couples making the decision to go ahead or not.
Things that can help:
- Reading the appropriate Letters in Planning a Family series which address this topic
- Joining our network and coming to local meetup or national conference, where men and women can meet separately in groups. Men particularly seem to enjoy being with others in a small group.
- Attending a Preparation for DC Parenthood workshop where, again, there is an opportunity for men and women to meet and talk separately as well as together.
- Talking with a counsellor. They can help it feel safe to talk about things that feel scary to say when you are alone as a couple. Counsellors are very used to partners approaching the issues in different ways and can help men and women see the perspective of the other person. Every UK clinic has at least one counsellor available, but you can also find someone outside of your clinic via the British Infertility Counselling Association www.bica.net or contact DC Network to be signposted to counsellors near you.
Things that can help keep the child in mind:
- Join us in order to talk with parents of donor conceived children about how they made their decisions and what life is like in a DC family.
- Read the 'Telling and Talking' booklets in our BOOKSHOP for insights into how children change in their understanding of their beginnings as they grow up.
- Read accounts from donor conceived adults about how they feel about their origins. Note the differences between those whose parents seemed comfortable with their decisions and were open with their children from an early age, and those who only learned of their donor conception later in life.