"I have always felt like the most wanted child on the planet" - Emma's Story

This story was written by Emma in 2019.

My name is Emma Groenbaek and I am 23 years old. I come from Denmark, where I’m now studying to be a nurse. I am donor conceived from an anonymous sperm donor. I have a mom and a dad, and two younger sisters. My parents struggled for 6 years to have me, but not long after I was born became pregnant again with the (at that time) new ISCI method and had twins.

Growing up I have always known that I was donor conceived. We were always very open about it in my family and had talks about it whenever it occupied my mind in different stages of childhood. I have always felt like the most wanted child on the planet.

When I was in second grade, I thought a lot about how my donor might look, if it was someone I knew or if I had maybe met him somewhere. It was not because I wanted to meet him, it was more curiosity towards him. It was at this time I really started to understand what it meant that I was donor conceived and I told the other kids at school about it. The other kids didn’t really seem to care or understand whatI meant. But it was important to me to speak about it.

When I was conceived, anonymity was the only option and therefore not a difficult choice. To me and my family the anonymity has never been a problem. Much more a relief actually. It ruled out a lot of questions, wondering and choices. It simply has been easier.

I have always known that I was a donor child, but never have I wished to know my donor or other possible children from the same donor.

I’m grateful towards him and that he chose to be a donor, but I do not want him as a part of my life and hope he feels the same way. I wish him the best in life!

The thing that I really wish for the future of donor conception is openness. I really hope we grow more confident with the subject and that we can keep an open mind to different perspectives! My hope is that my story will lead to a more balanced debate, with room for satisfaction also.

Love Emma Groenbaek

You can read more from Emma on her blog, http://donorchildemmagroenbaek.com

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