We recommend starting the conversation with your children before the age of six, although earlier is even better. If you have a child over the age of eight, a teenager or perhaps an adult child you might want a slightly different approach.
There are many reasons why parents may find that the years have passed and they still haven’t told their children about their beginnings by donor conception.
For those with older teenagers or adult children in their twenties or more, you may have been told by your clinic that telling your child was unnecessary. ‘Just go home and make love and who knows….’ was often the advice given. Increasingly parents, as they get older themselves, are now wanting to break the silence of the years and have a more honest relationship with their adult children. They now believe that it is their children’s right to know about the genetic disconnect in the family but have no idea how they can break the news without affecting the often very good relationships between them and their children. Sometimes children are showing an interest in family history or genetics and parents are terrified that they will uncover the truth in an unplanned way and that disaster will result.
We offer a bespoke service to support parents in telling older children and adult children about their origins.
Please email enquiries or phone us to find out more about this service.
“Thank you for an amazing meeting. Initially I wasn’t sure what to expect from such a meeting but it was definitely worth the journey. You made me very welcome, and it felt so safe to share my family story with you after all those years of silence.
Your vibrant energy, responses and feedback were very positive and reassuring and I went home feeling so much “lighter”. What is also incredibly important is the knowledge now that there is a very solid support network out there, and that my children will have recourse to information and help should they wish to explore that.
So from our family, and many others, thank you. We are all so blessed that you decided to start up the Donor Conception Network, which has touched so many lives.”
We have two “Telling and Talking” booklets which deal specifically with telling older children and adults about their conception. One covers telling 12-16 year olds and one is for 17+.
