Skip to content
HomeTelling and talking
  • Getting started

Getting started

We were founded on a belief that openness about donor conception is best for children, and for families. But we know it’s not always easy, so we have a range of books and services to help you build confidence in your family story.

We know that talking about donor conception can be daunting.

Our Network was started by five families who had decided to tell their children about their origins and who came together to support each other. At that time secrecy was the norm, and donors were all anonymous.

Nowadays, the recommendations of professionals and researchers back up the decision of those founding families. Lessons from adoption demonstrate that secrets can undermine trust in families and that honesty and openness between parents and children encourages warm relationships. And actually, keeping a secret, whilst sounding simple, can be much harder than people think.

But…. we recognise that talking about such private things isn’t easy for everyone.

You may be unsure whether to tell. If you are using an anonymous donor you may think there’s no point when there’s no information available. Perhaps you’re worried about upsetting or confusing your child, or having personal information made public. These are all very understandable concerns and questions and we can help you think them through.

Getting the balance right between privacy and honesty isn’t always easy. Finding the right age, the right words, the confidence, to explain to children or young people how they were conceived can feel daunting. Most parents need support and that’s where we come in.

Telling is a process and each family is different.

The following are some of the ways we can help you to tell your family’s story:

  • Books: we have lots of books around telling and talking. For those with children between 0-7, the Our Story range is a children’s story book with age-appropriate language and we have over 40 versions, so there’s one for your family situation. Plus our Telling & Talking range will help you think through how and what you tell different groups of people.

  • Workshops: our long-running Telling and Talking workshops offer a safe space with experienced facilitators to help you think through your family story.

  • Children’s groups: At our national spring conference we offer a group for donor conceived children aged 8-12, and non-donor conceived siblings in this age bracket. Also at our annual conference, we have a creative session called ‘What Makes Me, Me?’ which is suitable for 8-12 year olds and our teen activity is perfect for slightly older children aged 13-17.

  • Connections with donor conceived families: we have over 2000 household members, 90+WhatsApp groups, 150 online chats per year and more, so you can be sure of finding a community of families in a similar situation to share and connect with.

Books you might like:

OUR STORY – How we became a family – (embryo donation in two-mum families – single baby)

£12.50

View
New book

The Secret Code Inside You

£16.50

View

Mixed Blessings | PDF Version

£8.00

View

Telling and Talking about Donor Conception for the first time with 12-16 year olds – A Guide for Parents | PDF version

£8.00

View

Telling and Talking about Donor Conception with 8-11 year olds – A Guide for Parents | PDF version

£8.00

View

Continuing the Conversation – Talking with Young People and Adults 12 yrs and Up | PDF version

£8.00

View

Telling and Talking about Donor Conception with people aged 17 and older – A Guide for Parents | PDF version

£8.00

View

Friends and Family – Talking with family and friends about donor conception | PDF version

£8.00

View

Our Family | PDF version

£8.00

View

Telling and Talking about Donor Conception with 0-7 year olds – A Guide for Parents | PDF version

£8.00

View

OUR STORY, OUR GIFT – How we became embryo donors – (for the children of embryo donors – known recipients)

£12.50

View

OUR STORY – How we became a family – (sperm donation no clinic in mum and dad families – twins)

£12.50

View

OUR STORY – How we became a family – (double donation in two-mum families – twins)

£12.50

View

OUR STORY – How we became a family – (sperm donation, egg swap, in two-mum families – twins)

£12.50

View

OUR STORY – How we became a family – (embryo donation in solo mum families – twins)

£12.50

View

Events for parents:

Member event

In person

Apr

27

Social Meet Up for South West London

We are very pleased to welcome you to a social meet-up SW London families and intended parents. All are welcome to join, whatever your family circumstances, and whether you are parents or prospective parents. Join us for a chance to meet other local members and forge new connections. Children are very welcome. Date: Saturday 27th April, 10.00-12.00 Location: Elleray Hall, Teddington, TW11 0HG • 5 mins walk from Teddington railway station; parking available next to the site • Hot & cold drinks will be provided (no food)
Book now

Member event

In person

Apr

28

Surrey – Family meetup

The next Surrey meet-up will be a family meetup a lovely park – Family Picnic SUNDAY 28th APRIL 1pm at Alice Holt Forest, Farnham Everyone is welcome and it’s a great place for kids and adults. We look forward to seeing you there! Jo, Mel and Kat x
Book now

Member event

Online

May

1

Men only – discussion group

This DCN chat is for men only – in any family type, using any donation, those who are thinker/tryers or parents already. The session will be led by Stephen, dad to twin 9 year old through egg donation in a heterosexual couple. DCN Chats offer a space for members to come together to talk about shared issues. This is a peer support online get-together. All our DCN Chat facilitators are members themselves, and hosting the chat as individuals. This is not a professionally led or educational event. Join us for a friendly non-judgemental space to talk to others in similar situations. If you find that you need further support, please dont hesitate to contact the DC Network office on enquiries@dcnetwork.org
Book now

Member event

In person

May

4

DCN Spring Conference

Annual London conference for DCN members. Join us for our annual DCN member conference in North London on 4 May 2024. The event is a wonderful opportunity to connect with others and to hear from knowledgeable and inspiring speakers. 𝗪𝗵𝗼 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻𝘁? * Parents of donor conceived children: If you’ve had children this is a chance to meet other parents, to share experiences and get support. This is a family event so we provide childcare and activities for children up to 12 to make it possible for you all to attend the day. * DC teens: children aged 13-17 can join the teen group. * DC people 18+: DC adults are welcome to join us and meet with others in the community. * Professionals in the field: Please do join us for an informative and thought-provoking event. 𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝗱 𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗱𝗿𝗲𝗻 𝘆𝗲𝘁? You’re welcome to join us at this conference but do be aware that the content is aimed mostly at those who already have donor conceived children. We’ll make sure we connect you with other prospective parents on the day. 𝗠𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝗻𝗳𝗼 You can find more details about the conference in the following documents: * Programme for the day: https://www.dcnetwork.org/app/uploads/2024/03/Programme-to-save-and-share-ahead-of-the-day.pdf * Childcare and activities for children: https://www.dcnetwork.org/app/uploads/2024/03/Babies-Children-Teens.pdf * Information summary: https://www.dcnetwork.org/app/uploads/2024/03/General-Information.pdf 𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝗮 𝗗𝗖𝗡 𝗺𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿? This event is for DCN members and is one of the many benefits of membership. You can join us for just £7 per month (less if you are a lower income household) and as a member you’ll also get access to online chats, WhatsApp groups, exclusive events, and much more. Visit https://www.dcnetwork.org/civicrm/contribute/transact/?reset=1&id=7 to join today. If you buy a ticket and are not a member, don’t worry – we’ll send you details of how to join. 𝗠𝗲𝗱𝗶𝗮 𝗮𝘁 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲𝘀: it’s really important to us that our conferences and events provide a safe, confidential space for us to discuss what can be very personal matters. We therefore do not allow journalists or media to attend unless they are joining in a personal capacity as a parent or prospective parent via donor conception or are a donor conceived adult. Furthermore, everything discussed within our events is confidential and may not be reported or shared outside of the event. We may therefore have to refund tickets from those who do not meet these criteria. If you would like to discuss this with us before booking, please do give us a call on +44(0)20 7278 2608.
Book now

Member event

Online

May

8

Mixed families

You are invited to join us for a conversation for members who are either intending or have ‘mixed’ families – our term for those with a naturally conceived child (or adopted) and a donor conceived child, to talk about shared issues. DCN Chat is a peer support online get-together. This DCN Chat will be hosted by Laura, mum to two – the oldest naturally conceived and the youngest conceive through egg donation. All our DCN Chat facilitators are members themselves, volunteers, and hosting the chat as individuals. This is not a professionally led or educational event. Join us for a supportive space to talk to others in similar situations. If you find that you need further support, please don’t hesitate to contact the DC Network office on enquiries@dcnetwork.org
Book now

Member event

In person

May

11

Bath and Somerset – *new group* Family meetup

Come and join the new group for members in Bath and Somerset for their first meetup in Victoria Park in Frome.
Book now

Member event

In person

May

12

Berkshire- Solo parents- Windsor way group

Windsor solo mum group are inviting solo mums (and mums-to-be) from across the county, to join their next events. The group have scheduled meetups on the 2nd Sunday of every other month, so put the following dates in your diary if you wish to join: Sunday 12 May 1pm South Hill Park Ringmead Bracknell RG12 7PA (rendezvous lawn near manor house/ cafe at front) Sunday 14 July 10.30am (until pm) Lammas Park, Staines TW184UA (rendezvous on grass between splash park to right and toilet block to left, bring swim stuff. Pay to park or park in Church St) Sunday 15 September 10.30am (until pm) South Hill Park, Ringmead Bracknell RG12 7PA (rendezvous lawn near manor house/ cafe at front) Sunday 24 November (Hall- TBC) am – time depending on availability Sunday 9 Feb (Hall- TBC) pm – time depending on availability
Book now

Member event

In person

May

12

West of Ireland – General

All are welcome to this casual family meetup at Turoe Pet Farm, Loughrea, Galway: turoepetfarm.com. Date: Sunday, 12th May Time: 2 – 5pm Venue: Turoe Pet Farm, Turoe House, Turoe, Loughrea, Galway, H62 A432
Book now

Member event

Online

May

13

Women in same-sex couples

This is a DCN chat for women in same-sex couples, prospective and parents alike. DCN Chat is a peer support online get-together. This DCN Chat will be hosted by Rachael; she and her partner have one child conceived . All our DCN Chat facilitators are members themselves, and hosting the chat as individuals. This is not a professionally led or educational event, but will offer a supportive space to talk to others in similar situations. If you find that you need further more professional support, please don’t hesitate to contact the DC Network office on dcngroups@dcnetwork.org
Book now

Member event

Online

May

16

‘Reflections’ – Parents of DC Adults

You are invited to join a new group for parents of DC adults. This group will be facilitated by Jane, one of our longterm members who also works with DCN. We are inviting parents of those with children who are adults. We hope this space can offer an attuned space to the discussions that may be more relevant to the context in which children were conceived 20+ years ago, in a different climate to that which is now prevalent, with regards to openness in particular. Join us for discussion and support from peers.
Book now

Member event

In person

May

18

Thames Valley – Solo Mums’ meetup

Join the next meetup for solo mums and mums-to-be in Thames Valley for a get-together at the Lewknor Village Hall.
Book now

Member event

In person

May

18

London: Solo mums with children age 5 and under

Calling all solo mums expecting or with children up to age 5 years old (and any older siblings would be welcome, if you have more than one child) – Join the London solo mums’ meetup on Saturday 18th May, 10:00-12:00 at a small park near Brixton station with a dedicated under 5’s play area. Papa’s Park, 10-17 Pulross Rd, Brixton, London SW9 8AF (5 mins walk from Brixton station)
Book now

Member event

Online

May

20

Donor conception and surrogacy in two-dad and solo dad families

This DCN Chat offers a chance to talk about the donor element of your journey. In particular, to consider the donor’s place in your family (or intended family) and thinking about how you may wish to share information about the donor. We also welcome any other topics which you wish to bring to the conversation and we offer a friendly welcoming opportunity for discussion. This DCN Chat will be hosted by Daniel – he and his partner are parents to two children, conceived through surrogacy and egg donation. All our DCN Chat facilitators are members themselves, and hosting the chat as individuals. This is not an educational event, but rather a space for peer engagement on topics of interest. If you find that you need further support, please don’t hesitate to contact the DC Network office on enquiries@dcnetwork.org
Book now

Member event

Online

May

21

Solo mums with children conceived through double or embryo donation

This is a DCN chat for solo mums through double or embryo donation- with children of all ages. Join this chat if you are pregnant/have children through double or embryo donation. If you are a thinker/tryer there is a DCN chat available for that stage. DCN Chat is a peer support online get-together. This chat will be facilitated by Lucia, solo mum to twins through embryo donation. All our Chat facilitators are members themselves, and hosting the chat as individuals. This is not a professionally led or educational event.
Book now

Member event

Online

May

22

Couples – Double or embryo donation – Parents’ chat

This is a DCN chat for heterosexual or same-sex couples who are parents, who conceived through double or embryo donation. DCN Chat is a peer support online get-together. This chat will be facilitated by Cat, mum to two, conceived through embryo donation. All our Chat facilitators are members themselves, and hosting the chat as individuals. This is not a professionally led or educational event.
Book now

Member event

Online

May

22

Ethnicity in donor conception

This DCN chat is an opportunity to come together to talk about the issue of ethnicity in donor conception. This may be relevant if you are undertaking treatment with a donor of a different ethnicity, where ethnicity shows up in your donor decision-making process or where your child’s external appearance differs significantly to you (or you and your partner). This DCN Chat is open to all, but please note that the intention of this discussion is to hold a space for people who are experiencing challenges and successes within this realm and to offer the opportunity to share these in a peer-support forum. There is no right or wrong and we would ask that anyone who joins does so with the intention of being extremely respectful with this somewhat sensitive issue. DCN Chat is a peer support online get-together. This DCN Chat will be hosted by Mariam. All our DCN Chat facilitators are members themselves, and hosting the chat as individuals. This is not a professionally led or educational event. Join us for a supportive space to talk to others in similar situations. If you find that you need further more professional support, please don’t hesitate to contact the DC Network office on dcngroups@dcnetwork.org
Book now

Member event

Online

May

23

Couples (including separated couples): talking with children ages approx. 8-13

You are invited to join us for a conversation for members parents to children children ages approx. 8-13 approx DCN Chat is a peer support online get-together. This DCN Chat will be hosted by Kathryn, mum through sperm donation. All our DCN Chat facilitators are members themselves, volunteers, and hosting the chat as individuals. This is not a professionally led or educational event. Join us for a supportive space to talk to others in similar situations. If you find that you need further support, please don’t hesitate to contact the DC Network office on enquiries@dcnetwork.org
Book now

Members and non-members

Online

Jun

8

Workshop: Telling & Talking (mum-and-dad families)

This workshop is for parents of donor-conceived children aged 0-7 years (Unfortunately, we are unable to have babies or children around during these workshops. You will need to ensure you have alternative child-care arranged for your child(ren) for the duration of the course, as it is a full and intensive programme). They are equally appropriate whether you had treatment in the UK or abroad, with a known, identifiable or anonymous donor or if your treatment involved surrogacy. You may be wondering how to start talking to your child about their donor-conceived origins, or you may have already begun this process and would like to explore what may come up in the future.
Book now

Members and non-members

Online

Sep

14

Workshop: Telling & Talking (solo mum and two-mum families)

This workshop is for parents of donor-conceived children aged 0-7 years (Unfortunately, we are unable to have babies or children around during these workshops. You will need to ensure you have alternative child-care arranged for your child(ren) for the duration of the course, as it is a full and intensive programme). They are equally appropriate whether you had treatment in the UK or abroad, with a known, identifiable or anonymous donor or if your treatment involved surrogacy. You may be wondering how to start talking to your child about their donor-conceived origins, or you may have already begun this process and would like to explore what may come up in the future. As a single or lesbian woman, we recognise that your experiences are different from the time your pregnancy becomes public knowledge, and that attending our workshop even before your baby is born might be helpful for you. All of our single women and lesbian couples’ workshops have a small number of places for pregnant women.
Book now

Members and non-members

In person

Nov

16

Workshop: Telling & Talking (IN PERSON; solo mum and two-mum families)

This workshop is for parents of donor-conceived children aged 0-7 years (Unfortunately, we are unable to have babies or children present during these workshops.) They are equally appropriate whether you had treatment in the UK or abroad, with a known, identifiable or anonymous donor or if your treatment involved surrogacy. You may be wondering how to start talking to your child about their donor-conceived origins, or you may have already begun this process and would like to explore what may come up in the future. As a single or lesbian woman, we recognise that your experiences are different from the time your pregnancy becomes public knowledge, and that attending our workshop even before your baby is born might be helpful for you. All of our single women and lesbian couples’ workshops have a small number of places for pregnant women.
Book now

Members and non-members

In person

Nov

23

Workshop: Telling & Talking (IN PERSON, mum-and-dad families)

This workshop is for parents of donor-conceived children aged 0-7 years (Unfortunately, we are unable to have babies or children present during these workshops.) They are equally appropriate whether you had treatment in the UK or abroad, with a known, identifiable or anonymous donor or if your treatment involved surrogacy. You may be wondering how to start talking to your child about their donor-conceived origins, or you may have already begun this process and would like to explore what may come up in the future.
Book now

Where next?

Next – Why openness matters Back – Telling and talking home page